#582: The Marriage Agreement You Didn't Realize Existed (Yet Can’t Avoid), Featuring Harvard Law Graduate Aaron Thomas

      They had it all: six successful children, a marriage lasting 40 years, and an annual income of $200,000. Then, in her 60s, she uncovered a startling reality: he had squandered their entire retirement fund on penny stocks. During their marriage, she had no access to their financial accounts. After their divorce, she found herself with almost nothing and now depends on her adult children for assistance.

      Harvard-trained family law attorney Aaron Thomas joins us for a Valentine’s Day conversation about prenuptial agreements — not only as a safeguard against divorce, but also as a means to cultivate stronger marriages. A three-time recipient of Atlanta’s Best Divorce Attorney, Thomas is an authority in family law, the founder of prenups.com, and the author of The Prenup Prescription.

      Thomas points out that every married couple inherently has a prenup dictated by state laws. In 41 states, judges have extensive leeway in distributing assets “equitably,” which could result in a 70-30 split rather than an even 50-50 division. The remaining nine states operate under community property laws, where assets are usually divided equally.

      However, even in community property jurisdictions, disputes can arise over what is considered joint property. For instance, if you start the marriage with $100,000 in a 401(k) and keep contributing during the marriage, how is the ownership divided between personal and marital assets? Or consider a home owned prior to marriage where your spouse contributed to the mortgage payments.

      To avoid unexpected financial issues, Thomas advises couples to conduct “annual shareholder meetings” to assess their finances together. He recommends establishing three categories — yours, mine, and ours — and setting clear guidelines for spending. For instance, his prenup mandates that both spouses must approve any joint account expenditure exceeding $500.

      In addition to asset distribution, prenups can stipulate conditions like mandatory marriage counseling before a divorce is initiated or mediation in the event of custody disputes. While prenups cannot specify child custody or support arrangements, they can create a framework for resolving conflicts.

      The main advantage, according to Thomas, is not merely safeguarding oneself for potential divorce — it’s about fostering clarity and communication while married. Engaging in tough conversations concerning finances, expectations, and methods of conflict resolution allows couples to establish a solid foundation for enduring relationships.

      Tune in to this episode to hear our complete discussion on how prenups can enhance marriages, avert expensive legal conflicts, and assist couples in managing finances from the outset.

      Timestamps:

      Note: Timestamps may differ on individual devices due to dynamic advertising run times. The timestamps provided are estimates and may be several minutes inaccurate due to varying ad lengths.

      (0:00) Episode introduction and the concealed marriage contract

      (3:01) Legal definition of marriage and financial entitlements

      (12:42) Historical perspective: marriage as duty versus love

      (19:38) Definition of prenups: financial guidelines for marriage

      (24:20) Annual financial meetings between partners

      (27:26) Why the notion of “everything is 50/50” is misleading

      (35:21) How separate assets transition to marital property

      (39:26) Real-life examples: retirement funds and properties

      (44:44) State-generated prenups versus personalized prenups

      (48:04) Applying prenups for counseling and mediation

      (55:07) Pets in divorce: treated as property, not custody issues

      (57:30) Family loans and spending restrictions

      (1:01:57) Financial openness prevents crises

      (1:07:21) Community property versus equitable distribution

      (1:10:34) The necessity of financial agreements for every couple

      (1:14:51) Clarification of postnups and no-nups

      Resources Mentioned:

      Home – Prenups | Website

      Prenups.com (@prenupguy) | Instagram

      Book Your 30-Minute Consultation Today – Afford Anything – Prenups | Website

      The Prenup Prescription | Book

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